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When news broke that Rob and Michele Singer Reiner had been murdered and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it brought addiction back into the national conversation. However, families affected by a loved one’s addiction are concerned the dialogue will focus on an exceedingly rare act of homicide rather than the more widespread dangers of the condition.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the news. They were merely familiar with the Reiners by their work, yet they feel a connection: their own son also became addicted at 15 to opioids and later heroin, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and jail. After seven excruciating years, their son achieved sobriety in July 2010.

“It’s just tragic,” states Grover. “It tears you up, because that’s a family torn apart, just like so many other families we know whose sons or daughters succumbed to the illness of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a relative’s dependency, housing instability from addiction, or an overdose leading to hospitalization or death, according to recent data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or 48.4 million people, were living with a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how influential you are,” emphasized Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s not true,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so prevalent in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and the legal system. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really dangerous and the potential for causing violence.”

She also cautioned against jumping to conclusions about the alleged role of the son or his condition at the time, noting it is unclear whether substance use or mental health issues were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and this condition, and create a narrative to try to explain what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his struggle.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may lead to agitation, a violent crime like a double homicide is highly unusual.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything remotely close to violent behavior. It’s a true anomaly,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to harm themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with dread—not of their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to be lost at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting limits and sometimes making the “horribly painful” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get a phone call or that visit from authorities telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the ER saying a son was unconscious; from prison, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

The Loneliness of the Struggle

Parents often battle isolation—questioning whether the addiction was caused by some parental failure; feeling responsible for a child’s actions; and worrying about the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be content one day and in despair the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are can achieve recovery.

“Just as you can get over any other type of disease, you can overcome this condition, too. You can recover and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you fail, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a husband and a father, holds a college degree, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it could not be forced.

“I can drag him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to succeed,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they cared for him and believed in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll reach out and take it.”